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因为一个人，这世界上大多数东西都变得不再普通。可是情怀这种东西在现实世界中总是易碎，收拾好残骸以后还是要面对繁杂无趣的日子。我也希望能在某个未曾约定的地方不期遇,从第一句对活开始，到来的希望足以弥补所有的错过。\n哪里是我的查令十字街84号。\n\n一天一部，看完了爱在三部曲，它在我的笔记里躺了很久很久。提笔时想起来还没谈恋爱的时候看的电影，19年写的影评，摘录在开头还蛮适合。\n电影结束，黑色的屏幕上飘过一条条弹幕，有的恐婚，有的表示真实，有人为女主鸣不平...我看着屏幕里自己的眼神，觉得还是要记录一下。\n\n看第一部像是在看自己恋爱，面对心动女生不知如何是好，举起又放下的手臂，不停地说话来掩饰尴尬，不断地制造私密的氛围来拉近距离，离别前的恋恋不舍（我找不到更好的词了，恋恋不舍有点弱），脑中浮现着曾经的自己，两人为了多待一天临时改签，然后在清晨惊喜地叫醒对方改签成功，每次离别前来不及吃饭，要么饿着肚子要么草草在高铁站吃面吃炸鸡汉堡，看见对方在对面的站台，然后消失在自己的视线里，分开后坐在靠窗的座位上失落和发呆，都是比电影更抓心的分别。\n看第二部的时候为两人没能再续前缘感到遗憾，但九年后两人重逢难凉热血又让我动容。放在现实里，大多数人都不再感动，只会发现那个心上人已经变得陌生。电影里两人其实变换并不大，他们聊政治和环境，最后在女主的音乐里结束。不知在门外等待“五分钟”的司机作何感想，电影戛然而止，但我们都知道男主一定不会赶飞机了。我希望男主留下吗，我问自己。\n看第三部时外面下大雨，我很欣慰他们组成了家庭，男主不愿意和一个不爱的人共度余生，但这样的感动背后还有无法处理得当的家庭关系，这一次次成了他们的“定时炸弹”。两个话痨依旧，这么多年过去依旧可以无话不谈。看到有人问他们是真爱吗，我感到人们心中完美恋爱太飘渺了，这都不叫真爱，那大多数家庭里夫妻之间结婚多年无可交谈又算什么呢。\n第三部最好看的部分是两人放开的争吵——像一首曲子——拉着观众以第三视角去看待所谓的灵魂伴侣的争吵。看到这里弹幕已经乱成了一锅粥，各种性别对立的观点让我关掉了弹幕。\n两人激烈的斗争中逐渐浮现出男性和女性很多思维差异，你可以看到女主身上充满智慧和理性的光芒，看见男主的真爱和时光机。但同时也能看到女主的躁郁和男主的大男子主义和逃避。\n影片在女主最后给了台阶时结束。\n\n三部曲，第一部着眼于两人陷入热恋，第二部着眼于再次相爱，第三部着眼于家庭和两性关系。看完就像过了一遍他们的人生。其实男女主的矛盾是从一开始就有的，女主提到的隐形大男子主义实际上在看手相和河边作诗时就毕露无遗，但又不可否认男女主的心有灵犀和互相欣赏。\n我们在一次次自己或是他人的恋爱里意识到没有哪个人是完美契合自己的，那对浑然天成的人最后结婚生子也不代表不会争吵，而人到四十依然会幼稚，我们一直都在处理不好自己和对方的关系中挣扎。\n\n脱下爱情的外衣，倒不如说很多不和都是人与人之间最基本的问题，谁比谁付出忍让的多，谁比谁更辛苦，谁比谁不忠诚，谁总是作出退让。实际上这样的问题也发生在我们和朋友之间，而爱情本就是基于朋友又建构出的一层更深的关系，可这层关系往往给问题蒙上了面纱，本身很清楚的问题在爱情里就被搅得一塌糊涂。所以当我看着他们争吵的时候我意识到，他们都是真爱对方的，那样的爱根本毋庸置疑甚至好过了大多数人的爱。问题诚然存在，但不可否认他们的爱。\n很喜欢电影里提到的，我们想要理解别人就先要理解自己。\n男女的思维模式差异是不得不承认的，不是理性和感性的差异，而是生活环境带来的差异，实际上男生和男生相处都比较直来直去，但这在和女生的相处时是经常行不通的，尤其是爱情里。但我们总是把这些基本的思维差异上升到爱与不爱，上升到性别对立，似乎两个名词就可以概括一切，男人总是这样，女人就是如此之类。我想那这些人带着这样的想法，可能永远也无法处理好问题。\n\n**结语**\n日落日出，我们逐渐形成独立的个体，也逐渐了解到完美的爱情并不存在，但并不意味着真爱不存在。爱情太复杂了，它还包括你们作为两个个体之间的利益差异，包括你们作为朋友之间的得与失，甚至还包括对自我的了解与否。男主最后说，这就是真爱。\n爱到底在哪里呢？\n实际上电影已经告诉我们了，试试拨开爱情之外的掩人耳目的杂草\n爱在黎明破晓前\n爱在日落黄昏时\n爱在午夜降临前\n",null,30,"2022-05-13T15:32:01","2022-07-07T22:38:55",197,"电影",[100],{"id":101,"tagName":98},39,{"id":103,"articleCover":104,"articleTitle":105},62,"https://static.gaoyuan.site/articles/b57ecd494e4bc8f9ce7f6eb84aa74818.jpg","木土木土",{"id":107,"articleCover":108,"articleTitle":109},74,"https://static.gaoyuan.site/articles/674685ff99028922bf61ee86de2321f1.jpg","Instant-ngp复现和自拍数据集的运行",[],[112,117,122,127,132],{"id":113,"articleCover":114,"articleTitle":115,"createTime":116},97,"https://static.gaoyuan.site/articles/4c75f2fc58fc62705384d2ea5c7541e2.jpg","青甘遗梦","2025-05-12T09:39:04",{"id":118,"articleCover":119,"articleTitle":120,"createTime":121},96,"https://static.gaoyuan.site/articles/71622894786ad69c24e6ea642d05a275.jpg","我的阿勒泰","2025-01-11T00:05:58",{"id":123,"articleCover":124,"articleTitle":125,"createTime":126},95,"https://static.gaoyuan.site/articles/8311a8f3a94aab354101e80f4132e12e.png","记忆贩卖店","2024-10-20T17:59:23",{"id":128,"articleCover":129,"articleTitle":130,"createTime":131},94,"https://static.gaoyuan.site/articles/de098d9194c59e1cecf75c84e0585648.jpg","我的阿尔山","2024-10-05T14:04:31",{"id":133,"articleCover":134,"articleTitle":135,"createTime":136},93,"https://static.gaoyuan.site/articles/dd97d39aaef628a7c74d96879c88ebf6.jpg","我的拉班·扫马","2024-07-04T23:36:50",1782639793524]